There are certain stories that draw us as we read and others that we can never get into. Why is this?
One possible answer may be the amount of emotional connection we feel to the characters. Some stories pull us in so far that we may experience what’s called “Narrative Transformation,” a phenomenon that occurs when a reader literally loses track of their surroundings because they are so engrossed in the story that it feels as if they are living it.
In Kindra Hall’s Stories that Stick,she says, “As the teller tells the story, the listener is taking the words and adding their own images and emotions to them…They will fill in the narrative with their own experiences until the lines between reader and story are blurred.”
“As the teller tells the story, the listener is taking the words and adding their own images and emotions to them…They will fill in the narrative with their own experiences until the lines between reader and story are blurred.”
Kindra Hall – Stories that Stick
This narrative transportation is the journey we are ultimately hoping to send our readers on anytime we write a story.
But how do we do that?
Writers may try to bring emotion into their stories, but it often falls flat because the names emotions or situations are either too on-the-nose, too coincidental, or it flat out feels contrived.
None of the emotion we are told we should feel seems earned and therefore the reader is put-off by the story.
However, there is a way to help drive the emotion of a plot without coming out and stating it.
This is where SUBTEXT comes in.
In my new novel, The Phoenix and The Wolf, I use subtext between two characters to build up romantic tension. These two characters both have a history of being thieves, a past that still linger around them. Yet, this conversation isn’t really about stealing gold or jewels, but something more valuable.
[Ross] hopped down beside her, a swagger to his step. “Speaking as one professional to another, what did you steal to gain such notoriety?”
Nienna leaned against the railing, facing him. “…I don’t know what it would take you, but I primarily stole slaves from a king and his nobles. But if we’re talking objects, I would have to say the most valuable thing I stole was a dragon stone out of the royal treasury of the Topaz Palace. The first thief to ever get in and out of that vault alive.”
Ross stared at her open-mouthed. To have seen Liteya in its prime was something he’d always dreamed about, but to sneak inside the treasury… “That’s impressive, on both counts. The lost treasures of the Topaz Vaults are things of legend in Meheritia. A few have tried to reclaim its treasures, but all become victims to the djinn who live there.”
The sun drew closer to the hills on the horizon. Brilliant pinks, golds, purples, and blues hung suspended in the sky like gossamer streamers, with white puffy clouds spaced among them.
“As you were the master thief of this city, what’s the best thing you ever stole?” Nienna asked, facing him. Her gray eyes turned burnished gold in the setting sun as a smile curved one side of her mouth.
Ross’s palms grew sweaty. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “I’m not sure I’ve stolen it yet.”
A deep blush crept up her cheeks. “What stopped you?” Nienna asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
A hesitant grin spread across his face.
“The security on the place is tighter than a rich man’s hold on his purse. And the guard dog was bigger than a carthorse with teeth the size of knives.”
She took a step toward him, and he forgot how to breathe. Magic curled off her skin, intoxicating him with a heady rush.
“What if the dog were gone?” she asked. Her fingers found his on the railing.
“I might give it another try.”
Was this conversation really about stealing magical items, and guard dogs? No!
Ross wanted to know if he had finally won his way into her heart, but do it in a manner that could allow them both to save face if the other was not interested. And the subtext here clues the reader in on what we’re trying to get at.
The next time you sit down to write, I want you to pick a point in your story where your main character is feeling a strong emotion. Whether they are frustrated, afraid, in love, or something else. The emotions could stem from having to make a choice, facing a setback, a surprised, self-realization, or overwhelm.
Write down the main emotion tied to that moment.
Then I want you to identify all the sub-level emotions they are feeling. All the other things they are feeling that hovers around that big emotion. Then erase the big emotion and allow the character to percolate in those sub-level emotions, and use them to build up the emotional tension in that scene.
Leave me a comment on this post on whether you found this exercise helpful.
In part 2 we’ll dive into how to pull from your own emotional experience.
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