As an author, I find myself surrounded by words. I write new words in my rough drafts. I tweak those words as I edit. As I walk throughout my day, I narrate to myself using words to describe what I see and what I feel. And that internal dialogue translates into how I view the world.

I’ve seen the power of the words I write as readers talk to me about their favorite parts in my books. They tell me of how certain characters seemed to come alive and how the theme of:

“Light does more when shared.”

-Tellen Ramforth

has helped them when they were feeling low. I’ve also experienced the power of the written word as I’m sucked into an excellent story, and forget that I’m reading. Or someone with their non-fiction book, sharing how their experiences shaped who they are and the lessons they learned along the way.

But the words written on the page are only half of their power.

Did you know that in a typical day, we speak roughly seven thousand words? That’s a lot of words! This count doesn’t even include the words in our thoughts, which could possibly double this number. So, with anywhere from 7,000-14,000 words spoken and thought in any given day, what are we saying?

Think about the last conversation you had with your spouse? Your friend? Your parent? Your child? The stranger at the grocery store? The person driving next to you?

What did you tell them? Did your words leave them feeling uplifted or degraded? Of those 7,000-14,000 words, you have the power to bind up broken hearts, or tear them apart. To make someone smile the rest of the day, or go home and wonder if they’d be missed if they died tomorrow.

With power like that, I think it’s important to take a step back and really look at the things you say and think. The way you talk to yourself can change the outlook of your day. If you wake up in the morning and say, “this is going to be an awesome day” and mean it, more often than not, that day will go well.

The same holds true if you roll out of bed bleary-eyed, groaning and moaning every time one of your to-do’s crosses your mind. It’s not likely to be a great day. These thoughts will then translate into the way you speak to those around you.

The person with the positive outlook on life will be much more likely to share positive and uplifting things with others, while the person who is miserable will often spread that miserableness like the common cold.

But there is hope.

While it may be difficult to change the way you use your words, there are little things you can do to improve.

• The first step I use is to acknowledge, usually silently, whether what I said what helpful or hurtful. As the yogis of the world say, I became aware. Awareness is the first step.
• After acknowledging, or becoming aware, of the things I say, the next step is to take responsibility for it. I owned the things I said, helpful or hurtful, and made myself face what it was I had done.
• Following responsibility is action. Now, if it was a hurtful thing, and I was still in a poor state of mind, I made myself leave the situation until I was calmer, and more willing to talk civilly. Taking action can also include asking for or giving forgiveness.
• You may find that you need to take ten deep breaths before you walk out there to the mess your child just made and calmly help them clean it up. But they will be more willing if you are calm, and you will feel better because you didn’t use your words to break your child’s tender heart by yelling or using any other harsh words.

All these things combine to create a more wholesome experience that builds and uplifts. Your power with words will increase and you will find that your influence over others does too.

If you are the one always noticing people and complimenting them, they will remember it. If you’re always the one who has a snide comment, they will remember that too. So I ask you this, how do you want to be remembered?

As a final emphasis on this point, I want to share a video from a toastmaster’s competition in 2015 on the power of words.

How are you going to use your words today?